Beatle Rap - The Qworymen

entered by Jeff Morris - October 23, 1995

Celebrity voices impersonated, of course. This song is full of insider Beatles references. For explanations, see the annotated version below.

Paul: Hello, lads. Why don't we do a Buddy Holly number?
John: You know, you know my name, look up the number.
George: Number nine...number nine...
John: What a shame, Mary Jane had a pain at the party.
George: I've just seen a face, and it's Ringo's!

Ringo: Well, my name is Ringo, and that ain't lingo,
'Cause I'm the greatest star.
Well, I ain't no bummer, I'm a hummer of a drummer,
And I've gone pretty far.
I've got a yellow sub and a caveman's club
To beat on all me skins.
I even got me a Magic Christian
To pardon all me sins.
I got a bird named Bach who loves to rock,
She's a woman who understands.
But if she ever left me, I'd have to get me
A lonely heart's club band.
Now I'd like to introduce you all
To a lad who's on the ball.
He plays bass with a lot of taste,
And he goes by the name of Paul.
Take it away, Pauly.
Ah, is this your grandfather, then? He's very clean.
Paul: Ringo, we'll call you.
Ringo: I'll be out paradin' then.

Paul: Well, me name is Paul, and I do it all,
Like write and sing and play.
But for all me money, it might be funny,
I still long for yesterday.
Now I might have a smile that's longer than a mile,
But don't think it's all been fun.
George: It hasn't.
Paul: I've been arrested for drugs, mobbed and mugged,
And had a band that's on the run, y'see.
I've been throw in jail, gotten hate mail,
Even told that I was dead.
Had herds of birds threaten me life
Just 'cause I wanted to wed, you see.
Now I'd like to introduce you to
A man who found the Lord.
He plays a mean sitar, rhythm guitar,
And he goes by the name of George.
George, hey, we'll let you sing one now.

George: I'll sing if you want me to sing,
And I won't sing if you don't want me to sing.
Well, I just might be the baby of the bunch,
But I'm also the most hip.
From the Maharishi to Hare Krsna,
I started every trip.
John: What's he talking about?
George: Hare hare.
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da.
Yeah, yeah, let it be, let it be.
La la la, la la, hey Jude.
Love is all you need.
My sweet, he's so fine.
I do it all, they just never give me any credits.
John: All right, lad, your time's up.
George: Ooh, now let me introduce you to
The chap who takes no crap.
His name is John and he's goin' on
'Cause he still likes to rap.
Hey John, no be-bop-a-lulas, all right?
We've gotta do the real thing this time.
John: Fair enough.
George: OK, you ready?
John: Aye.
George: All right, here's Johnny.

John: Well, my name is John, and I'm always on,
And I'm speakin' with my voice.
I write rock and pop, and me head's a mop,
I've got a psychedelic Rolls Royce (for sale).
Now, they called me loco when I married Yoko,
But she's a gal who's on the bean.
She buys a sack of potatoes, throws out the potatoes,
And hides inside and screams
You're an eggplant, and the sister's an aunt,
And I want to jump up your nose.
I love New York City, my Aunt Mimi,
And words that rhyme with orange.

What a load of rubbish!
I can't believe this!
Who wrote this thing?
Paul: Don't you remember? We did, John.
John: You know, we used to be fab and gear and stuff like that. What's going...we reformed for this?
Ringo: I remember when we used to make good records.
John: Goo goo g'joob too. Goo goo g'joob to you too, and to you, and to you, and to me, and everyone here! All together now!
George: All right, I did the record, but I don't want to play live. Has anybody seen me old brown shoes?
Ringo: Oh, they've put me in the movies, haven't they?
John: Anybody want to buy some lithos, signed?
George: Scrambled eggs.
All: Ah, ah, ah, ah!
(backwards): It's really us, y'know.
[plus an unintelligible comment at the end - perhaps it's just someone saying "The Beatles"?]

FOOTNOTES:

 To start off with, the name of the group, The Qworymen, is a reference to an early name of The Beatles, The Quarrymen, named after Quarry Bank High School, which John attended. The fake writers' names of "S. Fields" and "P. Lane" is a reference to their first single of 1967, "Strawberry Fields Forever"/"Penny Lane". The fake producer's credit, "William Shears", is a reference to "Billy Shears", who's mentioned in "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band", and who supposedly sings "With A Little Help From My Friends" (though it's actually Ringo).

Why don't we do a Buddy Holly number?
Buddy Holly was a favorite of The Beatles. They covered "Words Of Love" note-for-note on the Beatles For Sale LP.
You know, you know my name, look up the number.
lyrics from "You Know My Name (Look Up The Number)", the B-side of "Let It Be", released 1970.
Number nine...number nine...
from "Revolution 9" on The Beatles LP (a/k/a The White Album), 1968.
What a shame, Mary Jane had a pain at the party.
lyrics from "What's The New Mary Jane", an unreleased outtake from the White Album sessions. Mary jane is slang for marijuana.
I've just seen a face, and it's Ringo's!
"I've Just Seen A Face" is a song from their 1965 Help! LP.
'Cause I'm the greatest star.
"I'm The Greatest" is the first track on Ringo's biggest hit LP, 1973's Ringo. Also, star could be Starr, as in Ringo Starr.
I've got a yellow sub
"Yellow Submarine" from the Revolver LP, 1966. Also a single and movie.
and a caveman's club
Ringo did a movie called "Caveman" with Barbara Bach which came out in 1981.
I even got me a Magic Christian
Ringo did a movie called "Magic Christian" with Peter Sellers in 1969.
I got a bird named Bach
Ringo married Barbara Bach in 1981
She's a woman who understands.
A line from their 1964 B-side, "She's A Woman".
But if she ever left me, I'd have to get me a lonely heart's club band.
reference to The Beatles' 1967 landmark LP, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
Ah, is this your grandfather, then? He's very clean.
reference to the movie "A Hard Day's Night" where everyone remarks that Paul's grandfather is very clean.
Ringo, we'll call you.
reference to "The Beatles Christmas Record", a flexi-disc distributed to fan club members in Britain at the end of 1963. On that record, after Ringo sings a bit of "Good King Wenceslas", George says, sarcastically, "Thank you, Ringo. We'll phone you."
I'll be out paradin' then.
reference to the move "A Hard Day's Night" where Paul's grandfather tells Ringo he should be out "paradin'" instead of reading a "bloomin' book".
Well, me name is Paul, and I do it all
Paul has released two albums on which he plays all the instruments, and has been a one-man band at other times.
I still long for yesterday
reference to one of The Beatles' best-known songs, "Yesterday", from the 1965 Help! LP, and also a single in the United States.
Now I might have a smile that's longer than a mile
Paul always seems to be the one smiling for everyone and being a showman.
I've been arrested for drugs
Paul was arrested and jailed for eight days in January, 1980, for bringing marijuana into Japan, where he was to have played some concerts.
And had a band that's on the run
The 1973 LP Band On The Run was one of Paul's most successful.
Even told that I was dead
A rumor was started in 1969 that Paul had died in 1966 and had been replaced by a decoy. Supposedly, there were several "clues" to this on album covers and in songs.
A man who found the Lord
George got heavily into Eastern religions in the mid-60's.
He plays a mean sitar, rhythm guitar
George also got into the sitar after hearing it on the set as they were filming "Help!" in 1965. However, he was generally the lead guitarist, not the rhythm guitarist (that was John).
George, hey, we'll let you sing one now.
George generally only got to sing lead on two songs per Beatles LP.
I'll sing if you want me to sing, and I won't sing if you don't want me to sing.
reference to a scene in the "Let It Be" movie where Paul is trying to tell George how he wants a certain line played, and George responds with something akin to the above, saying, "I just want to please you," hoping to calm Paul down.
Well, I just might be the baby of the bunch
George was born in 1943, Paul in 1942, and John & Ringo in 1940. This is also a reference to "Rapper's Delight" by Sugarhill Gang ("I guess by now you can take a hunch, and find that I am the baby of the bunch."), which was the first commercially successful rap song.
From the Maharishi to Hare Krsna
The Beatles went to India in early 1968 to study with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. George got interested in the Hare Krsna movement in the late 60's.
Ob-la-di, ob-la-da.
A song on the White Album, 1968.
Yeah, yeah
reference to "She Loves You", 1963.
let it be
A song, album, and movie title, released 1970.
La la la, la la, hey Jude
"Hey Jude" - single, 1968.
Love is all you need
reference to "All You Need Is Love", 1967.
My sweet, he's so fine
reference to George's 1970 song "My Sweet Lord", for which he was sued for plagiarism, as it was supposedly too close to The Chiffons' 1963 #1 hit "He's So Fine".
Hey John, no be-bop-a-lulas, all right? We've gotta do the real thing this time.
My best guess on this one is that it's a reference to when John used to ad lib words for "Be-Bop-A-Lula", before meeting Paul in 1957, who wrote down the words for him.
And I'm speakin' with my voice
another reference to "The Beatles Christmas Record" from 1963, where John opens with "Hello, this is John speaking with his voice."
and me head's a mop
The Beatles were called "moptops" when they came to America in 1964, due to their (what was considered at the time to be) long hair.
I've got a psychedelic Rolls Royce (for sale).
In 1967, John had a Rolls Royce painted in psychedelic colors and designs for himself.
She buys a sack of potatoes, throws out the potatoes, and hides inside and screams
A reference to John & Yoko's bagism theory of 1969.
I love New York City
John lived in NYC from late 1971 until his death in 1980.
my Aunt Mimi
John lived most of his formative years with his mother's sister, Mary "Mimi" Smith.
And words that rhyme with orange
There are no English words that rhyme with "orange".
we used to be fab and gear and stuff like that
"fab" (short for fabulous) and "gear" were early 60's equivalents of "hip" or "cool".
Goo goo g'joob
lyrics from "I Am The Walrus", 1967.
All together now!
"All Together Now" was a song of Paul's used at the end of the "Yellow Submarine" film.
All right, I did the record, but I don't want to play live.
George was at first opposed to the "Get Back" project (a/k/a "Let It Be" project) because there were plans for a live show, and he prefered not to tour.
Has anybody seen me old brown shoes?
"Old Brown Shoe" was George's song, and the B-side of "The Ballad Of John And Yoko", 1969.
Ah, they've put me in the movies, haven't they?
a reference to "Act Naturally", a Buck Owens song that The Beatles covered, with Ringo on lead, on their 1965 Help! LP. ("They're gonna put me in the movies...")
Anybody want to buy some lithos, signed?
I think this is partly a reference to John's lithographs from 1969/1970, and partly a reference to the movie "A Hard Day's Night" where Paul's grandfather is selling (faked) autographed pictures of The Beatles.
Scrambled eggs
This was the original title for "Yesterday". Paul came up with lyrics like "Scrambled eggs, oh my darling how I love your legs" just to help him remember the melody until he wrote the real lyrics. He came up with the melody in a dream in 1964, but hesistated writing the lyrics for about a year because he thought that perhaps he'd stolen the melody from somewhere.
Ah, ah, ah, ah!
the closing of "Twist And Shout", an Isley Brothers cover on The Beatles' first LP, Please Please Me, 1963.

Actually, there are also many musical references to Beatles songs throughout. It opens with a chord reminiscent of the opening of "A Hard Day's Night", then goes into a riff that is a combination of "Day Tripper" and "Drive My Car". Other references include:

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