Let's Get Small (edit) - Steve Martin
Short People - Randy Newman
Tall People - Wee Willie Small & The Little Band
Obese Man - The Ladmo Trio
Pizza In My Shorts - Da Yoopers
When I Was A Lad - Allan Sherman
My Daddy Is President - Little Jo
Chicken Fat (Disc Jockey version) - Robert Preston
Exercise Till You Die - Stevens & Grdnic
I'm A Ghost - anonymous
Freeze Dried Fido - Joe Keefe
Three-Legged Man - Ray Stevens
My Girl Has Three Legs - Damaskas
Stacy Brown Got Two - Shel Silverstein
The Speck - Larry Verne
Rock And Roll Classroom - The Conception Corporation
School Cafeteria (single version) - "Weird Al" Yankovic
Mike Tyson As A Substitute Teacher - Sinbad
Fatal Beatings - Rowan Atkinson & Angus Deayton
Smokin' In The Boy's Room - Brownsville Station
College Life (edit) - Billy Murray
Bright College Days (live) - Tom Lehrer
How Could You Believe Me When I Said I Loved You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life - Fred Astaire & Jane Powell
#5 Car Phone - Sheeler & Sheeler
#4 Sister Mary Elephant - Cheech & Chong
#3 Domino Death - Tom Smith
#2 Squirrels - The Beastly Boys
EXTRA: I'm A Nut - Leroy Pullins
#1 Homecoming Queen's Got A Gun - Julie Brown
next week: time to play the football game
in four weeks: our annual Halloween celebration